Traveling the Dangerous Vortex Between Sleep and Awake

Sometimes when my alarm goes off in the morning, I have this strange sensation that I have just been summoned from the grave. (extreme I know just follow this thought through)

It starts calm, an innocent quiet feeling that is suddenly distrubed by a dull beep.
This beeping starts to become rhythmical and louder.
As the beeping grows louder, I feel my dream self, quiet and content, abruptly grabbed from happy peaceful dream land and drug through a vast and intense worm hole like vortex. I usually emerge from this vortex groping for my alarm and saying "UGGG".
This morning I smacked myself in the face during a misguided reach for my alarm.

Sometimes in movies, they do this thing where someone dies.
The person is "dead" and experiencing some out of body vision but saved by the calling of their name from a loved one and is drug back into reality and wakes again to life.
While I acknowledge my nightly waking and sleeping is not as dramatic as being brought to life from being dead, at times it feels a little similar.
I do not therefor transition from sleep to awake very efficiently. Those who have known me for awhile can testify to this, remembering stories like the wood log cabin. (one morning on my way to class, I did what I thought was bring in wood for the stove and put in the wood rack. What I in fact had done was made a wood log cabin beside the wood rack, neglected to put any wood in the actual stove and left the front door open)

A couple of months ago I was bored so I grabbed my camera and went up to the parkway. I wasted time until it was sunset time and plopped down in my favorite overlook and watched the sunset.
I have never told anyone this but I am willing to admit that I cried at the freakin' sunset.
I did. I'm that kid who cries at sunsets.(feel free at this point to mock and judge. Its deserved)
It just happens, it was so beautiful and I just got overwhelmed by God's beauty and love I couldn't help it.
I love moments like that though, moments where Gods love and peace is so overwhelming that it feels almost beyond comprehension. Its tapping into this supernatural vast of love God has for us. One of my favorite verses talks about this:

Psalm 139:17-19

New King James Version (NKJV)

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
         How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
         When I awake, I am still with You. 


I haven't had a lot of these moments lately though. I have mentioned my therory about star gazing before. I believe on a clear night, if you give it enough time, you will see a shooting star every time.
My current favorite form of star gazing could be considered quite clever, or rather lazy.
Depends.
I say clever. See its winter right? So naturally its cold outside. So my current strategy is to drive somewhere and then lay on the hood of my car because its warm from driving. Clever eh? (yes. Not lazy.) So anyways last week was Thanksgiving. (Well more like 2 or 3 weeks ago.)
Whatever.
Doesn't matter.
I came back home Thanksgiving night and did some contemplative star gazing in my driveway. I was thinking about junk and how long it had been since I saw a shooting star (this is just a matter of maybe 30 seconds) when I settle down and look up to see a brilliant shooting star. I stayed out there maybe 30 mins and saw 2 more.
It was pretty cool.
And unexpected. (lately I have been doubting my 'always see a shooting star' theory) But you know, it doesn't really matter. While shooting stars are amazing, stars in their own right are pretty cool too. Sometimes with the Lord I look for big obvious signs, which again, is nice. But sometimes, He speaks in just little tiny things. And I'm learning to love that too.
My last blog (which was in July, I have been busy (or lazy you choose)) was about obedience. Surprise surprise I am reading another CS Lewis book, Mere Christianity. He talks at one point about love and obedience. (I can never spell obedience, there is this song I learned from camp as a kid that spells it out and every time I type that word I have to sing the song to myself) Lewis makes a statement that I have been pondering these days:

" I may repeat "Do as you would be done by"  till I am black in the face, but I   cannot really carry it out till I love  my neighbour as myself: and I cannot

learn to love my  neighbor as myself till I learn to love God: and I cannot
learn to love God except by learning  to obey Him." CS Lewis, Mere Christianity 

I think part of this thing I'm learning these days is about obedience and listening for the Quiet Voice. 

And while sometimes like my alarm, these great dramatic and extreme events can  happen, sometimes His still small voice can  be more effective in getting our attention.