I recently found a Choose Your Own Adventure at a thrift store and was excited to try my luck as an adult:
This choice ended with me being eaten by the ants.
When I was growing up, the general theme in the Non-Denominational church was that our spiritual life was kind of like a choose your adventure book. You were taught that this ultimate purpose or "destiny" existed beyond you, and if you made the right choices along in life then you could achieve this destiny.
The problem in this thinking is that it puts the idea of control into our hands, rather then where it should, in God's hands.
It's also a very stressful way to live, always thinking you will miss your destiny, or get captured by ants. (maybe that last part is just related to the book)
Thinking that one wrong call could screw up all God's plans for you and your life. Even though as a kid if I made a choice that led to instant death, then I would pretend I didn't choose that and go back choose the other option....which would also on occasion led to instant death.
(This is also is just about the book)
Luckily though life doesn't work like this. I believe God has a master plan for our life, and that our choices do affect it in a way, but not as dramatically as I previously thought.
This is mostly because I had been giving myself too much credit when in all reality God directs our path and if our heart is in the right place, have very little to do with it.
When I was younger I had what I called "alternative life plans". These were in case my main life plan fell through, or I changed my mind.
I am currently in life plan # 6.
Like I have said before, I never planned on being an art teacher, I never even liked art very much. I made some choices in life that didn't bring me any closer to this career, but since God knows me better then I know myself, those choices in a long way around type of way brought me on the path I am currently trotting.
And I FREAKIN" love it. Teaching art is one the most fun things I have ever done. I have discovered photography through this and love it too, and it has become my favorite thing.
Thank the Lord He was guiding my steps, and my own choices didn't affect as much as I thought and I didn't in real life end up as a meal for mutants ants.
I really do love my jobs. I teach art at an alternative school and its K-12 and I am an art tutor at an after-school program for grades 5-8.
I have a 5th grader in after-school who was always standing way too close to me. So one day inspired by Natalie Dee:
Now instead of standing too close, he stands at arms distance and air pokes me saying "pop". Left uncorrected he can go on for hours. Hours. So now when I see him coming, I tell him "NO".
So he drew this picture for me:
This is me saying no and my bubble of personal space being popped.
Another after-school student asked me once if he could draw his "artistic interpretation of me as an octopus".I said sure.
This was the result:
Why I also have a pilgrims hat and a mustache I'll never know......
........But it's awesome :D


I always died immediately in those books too. Kanz, your blog is like food for my soul!
ReplyDeleteI was also raised being taught that one wrong move could ruin everything God had for me. When I was making the decision about staying here, HR said to me, "I think that it's not so much about God saying, I'm sending you here, or I'm sending you there, but rather you making the choice and letting God work in it."
ReplyDeleteSo there, non-denominational/AOG church ;)
Still need to read some of those books. And that Octopus picture is very well drawn!
ReplyDeleteAnd I have to say, I spend my life thinking that way, worrying about this decision, hoping I'm doing the right thing here, afraid I'm doing the wrong thing there. But God is teaching me to trust in his wisdom and not my own. Thanks for the great post.
thanks you guys! you're feedback means a lot <3
ReplyDelete